What's the funniest email you have received from spammers/phishers?

weeman247 · 10-18-2009, 12:47 PM

Here is one of the many I get everyday from one of these crooks looking for my bank details. This is exactly what they wrote.

Urgent Message From Madam Sarah Davids
Here writes Madam Sarah Devids(Phd.Msc,Fsd),I am married to Engineer Devids
colmoan an Englishman who is dead.When my late husband was alive he
deposited the sum of 25 Million(Twenty Five Million Great Britain Pounds
Sterling which were derived from his vast estates and investment in capital
market with a security company here in UK.Presently, this money is still
with the online bank.
My Doctor told me that I have limited days to live due to the cancerous
problems I am suffering from. I have decided to donate this fund to you
and want you to use this gift which comes from my husbands effort to fund
the upkeep of widows, widowers, orphans,destitute, the down-trodden,
physically challenged children,barren-women and persons who prove to be
genuinely handicapped financially. Contact me on my most private and
confidencial email address

sadsoul938 · 10-23-2009, 02:18 PM

ooooooooooooooo he dead!
lol

sindiewen · 10-24-2009, 12:27 AM

LOL.

Hmm, i cant remember (dont feel like looking through my inbox that i never organize at all.)

I remember getting a message from a woman wanting my to have a check for 1 billion if i gave her my creditcard number (im 15 btw), social security number (i dont know it :P) and some other junk. She said shes dying of a deadly illness in africa i think.

I wanted to reply back with some funny s#1t but, nah.

zerosyko · 10-25-2009, 02:20 AM

Dear Friend,

I got your email address through search in the internet. I hope and pray that I have the right person who will help me. I have interest of investing in your country as such I am making contact with you for assistance.

Before the war in my country ( Iraq ) I deposited some funds with a security company for safe keeping. You will help me collect the funds from the Security Company as I cannot travel out at the moment because of my present predicaments /conditions which I will explain to you if we work together. My name is Raheem Mubarak Ali, Saddam Hussein has brought destruction / Hell to our great country and everything is practically difficult now. Please if you accept this offer of assistance you are required to give me your Name, age, occupation, country and address.

I will send to you detailed information of this business if you indicate your seriousness to do the business, and also enclosing your telephone fax numbers. I promise you that this deal is valid, real and risk free. What I now need from you are as follows:

1. You should make contact with the Security Company to secure the funds in cash on my behalf.

2. You will be entitled to 30% of the total sum involved for your assistance.

3. As soon as you have the funds in your custody, we will enter a new arrangement on which sector you will invest my share of the funds in on my behalf to generate enough money for the up keep of my family in your country.

4. This project is 100% risk free, but you must keep it very secret and confidential. With strong assurance that you will never let me down at all.

Please note that my aim to transfer the funds to you for investment is because I want my wife and 4 kids to join you and stay under your care, hope my family will find comfort, peace and happiness in your country.

I want to clear you about this, the funds is not from drug deal, its not from arms deals, its not government money and its not for any terrorist or illegal activity, why I am emphasizing on this confidentiality is because I don't want you to be bordered over above issues. Can you help me? Are you trustworthy? Are you capable of handling this money? If you can, please contact me All you need to do is to claim this money from the Courier Company. For your assistance, you will be entitled to 30% of the total sum. You are also obliged to help/advise on the proper and most convenient way of investing this money in your country, hopefully, You will consider this request and respond positively.

I expect your prompt reply and let our communication be by email as it is the safest means of communication for now because I suspect telephone lines in Iraq been connected to the US Telecommunication Network for monitoring.

Regards,
Raheem Mubarak Ali

Some Arab wants his family to live with me. xD

sindiewen · 10-25-2009, 07:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zerosyko

dear friend,

i got your email address through search in the internet. I hope and pray that i have the right person who will help me. I have interest of investing in your country as such i am making contact with you for assistance.

Before the war in my country ( iraq ) i deposited some funds with a security company for safe keeping. You will help me collect the funds from the security company as i cannot travel out at the moment because of my present predicaments /conditions which i will explain to you if we work together. My name is raheem mubarak ali, saddam hussein has brought destruction / hell to our great country and everything is practically difficult now. Please if you accept this offer of assistance you are required to give me your name, age, occupation, country and address.

I will send to you detailed information of this business if you indicate your seriousness to do the business, and also enclosing your telephone fax numbers. I promise you that this deal is valid, real and risk free. What i now need from you are as follows:

1. You should make contact with the security company to secure the funds in cash on my behalf.

2. You will be entitled to 30% of the total sum involved for your assistance.

3. As soon as you have the funds in your custody, we will enter a new arrangement on which sector you will invest my share of the funds in on my behalf to generate enough money for the up keep of my family in your country.

4. This project is 100% risk free, but you must keep it very secret and confidential. With strong assurance that you will never let me down at all.

Please note that my aim to transfer the funds to you for investment is because i want my wife and 4 kids to join you and stay under your care, hope my family will find comfort, peace and happiness in your country.

I want to clear you about this, the funds is not from drug deal, its not from arms deals, its not government money and its not for any terrorist or illegal activity, why i am emphasizing on this confidentiality is because i don't want you to be bordered over above issues. Can you help me? Are you trustworthy? Are you capable of handling this money? If you can, please contact me all you need to do is to claim this money from the courier company. For your assistance, you will be entitled to 30% of the total sum. You are also obliged to help/advise on the proper and most convenient way of investing this money in your country, hopefully, you will consider this request and respond positively.

I expect your prompt reply and let our communication be by email as it is the safest means of communication for now because i suspect telephone lines in iraq been connected to the us telecommunication network for monitoring.

Regards,
raheem mubarak ali

some arab wants his family to live with me. Xd

lolololololol

weeman247 · 10-27-2009, 10:57 AM

HERE IS ANOTHER ONE I JUST GOT:

Dear Friend,

I hope that this mail finds you in good health. Now I know this mail will
definitely come to you as a huge surprise, but please kindly take your
Time to go through it carefully as the decision you make will probably go
a long way to determine my future and continued existence. First of I let
me introduce myself. I am Capt. Mark J. Acton, assigned to 2nd Battalion,
Anbar Province in Iraq.

I am desperately in need of assistance. I am presently in Iraq and I found
your contact particulars in an address journal. I am seeking your
assistance to evacuate the sum of $10,570,000 (Ten million Five Hundred
and Seventy Thousand USD) to the States or any safe country; as far as I
can be assured that it will be safe in your care until I complete my
service here. This is no stolen money and there are no dangers involved.

SOURCE OF MONEY:
Some money in various currencies was discovered and concealed in barrels
with piles of weapons and ammunition at a location near one of Saddam
Hussein's old Presidential Palaces during a rescue operation and it was
agreed by all party present that the money be shared amongst us. This
might appear as an illegal thing to do but I tell you what, No
compensation can make up for the risks we have taken with our lives in
this hellhole. The above figure was given to me as my share and to conceal
this kind of money became a problem for me, so with the help of a German
contact working with the UN here (his office enjoys some immunity) I was
able to get the package out to a safe location entirely out of trouble
spot. He does not know the real contents of the package as he believes
that it belongs to an American who died in an air raid, before giving up
trusted me to hand over the package to his close relative.

I have now found a secured way of getting the package out of Iraq for you
to pick up. I do not know for how long I will remain here, as I have been
lucky to survive two suicide bomb attacks by Pure Divine intervention.
This and other reasons put into consideration have prompted me to reach
out for your help. If it might be of interest to you then Endeavor to
contact me and we would work out the necessary formalities but I pray that
you are discreet about this mutually benefiting relationship.

For more details please contact me via my private box:

[Only Registered Users Can See Links. Click Here To Register]

Warm Regards,
Capt Mark J. Acton
United States Marine Corps. IRAQ.

Amazing what you can find in a barrel of ammo?

junkmailturds · 10-29-2009, 02:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zerosyko

Dear Friend,

I got your email address through search in the internet. I hope and pray that I have the right person who will help me. I have interest of investing in your country as such I am making contact with you for assistance.

Before the war in my country ( Iraq ) I deposited some funds with a security company for safe keeping. You will help me collect the funds from the Security Company as I cannot travel out at the moment because of my present predicaments /conditions which I will explain to you if we work together. My name is Raheem Mubarak Ali, Saddam Hussein has brought destruction / Hell to our great country and everything is practically difficult now. Please if you accept this offer of assistance you are required to give me your Name, age, occupation, country and address.

I will send to you detailed information of this business if you indicate your seriousness to do the business, and also enclosing your telephone fax numbers. I promise you that this deal is valid, real and risk free. What I now need from you are as follows:

1. You should make contact with the Security Company to secure the funds in cash on my behalf.

2. You will be entitled to 30% of the total sum involved for your assistance.

3. As soon as you have the funds in your custody, we will enter a new arrangement on which sector you will invest my share of the funds in on my behalf to generate enough money for the up keep of my family in your country.

4. This project is 100% risk free, but you must keep it very secret and confidential. With strong assurance that you will never let me down at all.

Please note that my aim to transfer the funds to you for investment is because I want my wife and 4 kids to join you and stay under your care, hope my family will find comfort, peace and happiness in your country.

I want to clear you about this, the funds is not from drug deal, its not from arms deals, its not government money and its not for any terrorist or illegal activity, why I am emphasizing on this confidentiality is because I don't want you to be bordered over above issues. Can you help me? Are you trustworthy? Are you capable of handling this money? If you can, please contact me All you need to do is to claim this money from the Courier Company. For your assistance, you will be entitled to 30% of the total sum. You are also obliged to help/advise on the proper and most convenient way of investing this money in your country, hopefully, You will consider this request and respond positively.

I expect your prompt reply and let our communication be by email as it is the safest means of communication for now because I suspect telephone lines in Iraq been connected to the US Telecommunication Network for monitoring.

Regards,
Raheem Mubarak Ali

Some Arab wants his family to live with me. xD

The jokes on you guys. This guys family lives with me now and I got the 30 percent of the money! His wife is quite a dish...

sadsoul938 · 10-29-2009, 08:49 PM

I got a few funny emails but i deleted. Here are some in my junk box...

PLEASE REPLY VIA MY ALTERNATE EMAIL

[Only Registered Users Can See Links. Click Here To Register]
[Only Registered Users Can See Links. Click Here To Register]

Good day,

My name is Mrs School Alex,
I got your contact from the Embassy.I have contacted you because there is a domant account that has your last Family name and

it worth $400,000 US that will be of immense benefit to the you and your families here in my office if you will act wisely

under my directive.All i need is your HONEST coporation.

This business is 100% risk free and an Attorney will be contracted to provide us with all Legal Documents.All i need is your

honest cooperation.I will send you more info on this Please get back to me as soon as you can

PLEASE REACH ME VIA MY ALTERNATE EMAIL
[Only Registered Users Can See Links. Click Here To Register]
[Only Registered Users Can See Links. Click Here To Register]

My Warm Regards,
Mrs School Alex
----------------------
lol wtf wast hat?
and look at this one
--------------
This message was marked as junk and will be deleted after ten days.

YOUR E-MAIL HAS WON THE JACKPOT PRIZE OF 750,000 EUROS‏
From: Lisa Spencer (lisaspencer@c3bb.com)

Medium riskYou may not know this sender.Mark as safe|Mark as junk
Sent: Sun 10/25/09 3:13 AM
To: @563.com

To claim contact:
Mr David Bucket
Email:mr_davidbucket@administrativos.com
TEL:+44-701-115-3312
Sponsored by E-lotto
---------
wtf?
-------

weird emails.

lololololol

sadsoul938 · 10-29-2009, 08:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by junkmailturds

the jokes on you guys. This guys family lives with me now and i got the 30 percent of the money! His wife is quite a dish...

.............

....