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Thread: Self esteem and bullying.

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    Self esteem and bullying.

    I have Body Dysmorphic Disorder. It's a bit complicated to explain, but essentially it means that what I see when I look in the mirror is not the same thing you'd see if you saw me.

    I'm told I'm fairly attractive and that I look quite young for my age, which is good news, I suppose. However, when I look at myself I see nothing but the flaws and I feel like a piece of trash.

    However, mostly that's not the case anymore. I'm nearly recovered, thanks to a messload of support and therapy.

    I've been depressed enough that I've been suicidal.

    I thought my first real post in this forum would be something to help people who sometimes feel like I've felt and to help people interact with people such as myself.

    ---

    Everyone has an escape. For some, it's drugs, for others it's food, and for others it's hurting themselves.

    Let's look at an example: An overweight person who gets escape through food. They eat because it makes them feel good. It's not that hard of a concept to sympathize with. We've all had moments where we've had a really long day. We come home and have a bit of chocolate, or some ice cream and suddenly we feel a little better.

    So, let's look how this can become a downward spiral. The overweight person goes out, gets bullied, comes home feeling like crap, eats some food to feel better, gets more overweight, gets targeted by more bullying... and it goes on and on.

    Let's look at another example: Someone who thinks they are ugly gets criticized about her looks. She retracts into herself. It causes her to be more awkward, she gets criticized more. Eventually she thinks that suicide is the only way to escape.

    My key point here is: Don't bully. All it does is make you look like an ass and it makes your target get worse and become more of a target for bullying. It's better to ignore them if you can't say anything nice, though ideally it's best to try to help them in some way. Say something nice to the person you feel the urge to bully. It'll help them and give you good karma and you can never have too much of that.

    ---

    Self esteem... well, there's not a lot I can say about this, really.

    Get help if you feel down. Tell people you feel down. Get out and have fun.

    Remember that people can only bully you if you let them.

    Also, if you don't care about yourself, no one else will.

    It's never too late to take care of yourself.


  2. #2
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    Ill tell you something about self esteem. People aren't born with it. It is something that you build up. Read positive books the self help section of the library is full of them. Be careful of the music you listen to and the things you watch on TV. There are a lot of sad and angry messages being thrown at you everyday without you realizing it. Watch what you say to yourself.

    You are the person who talks to you the most. What you say to youself will have the most impact. The subconscious mind does not know the difference between the truth and a lie or a joke so when you talk to yourself or other people or about yourself or about other people use words like smart, awesome, friendly, determined, winner. attractive, strong, dependable, trustworthy, great, fantastic, love, amazing, interesting and the list goes on. If you don't believe in what you are saying, LIE!!! Overtime you will come to notice that all these fine words are true and your subconscious mind will show you all the things in your life that make it so. It all boils down to this, you are the sum of the books you read, the things you watch and listen too, and the people you hang around with. Make sure that those are all good things.

    Have faith, Im a religious person but you don't have to be. If you don't believe in god, believe in life. Out of all the people on all the planet your parents found each other and a out of all the possible children they could of had (literally millions) you came to be. You are unique. There has never been anyone exactly like you and the never will be anybody exactly like you and that makes you extremely rare and precious. You have something to offer the world and even you can make a huge difference in someones life. You are here for a reason (maybe unknown to you) have faith in that.

    I can also tell you something about bullies. Im no expert on how to deal with them but I do know this. They feel like [DELETED] too, bullying is what makes them feel better. The important thing is not to let them get away with it. If you are a target and can't seem to make it stop on your own GET SOME HELP! Talk to a conseller, a cop, or a help line, not your mom (unless your moms a cop) Basically talk someone who is qualified to handle such a situation.

    Anyway, that is my 2 cents on the subject.
    Last edited by s0ur; 02-13-2010 at 10:54 PM. Reason: profanity

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    You can't spend your life caring what people think about you, where does that get you?
    Yeah I want people to judge me positively but only to make my own life easier. In the end -- it doesn't matter that Joe Blow called you a pizza face or a fat ass.

    It's only the weak minded people that let these things bother them.... it's all mental and it's all controllable.

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    Retired Staffer bmarlo's Avatar
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    I'm a believer of karma! What goes around comes around!
    So treat people as you wish to be treated and karma will
    be on your side!



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    Thank you for posting this. This made me remember why I try to help those in need at my school and don't follow like a sheep when someone is being criticized.

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    I am a 27 years old male whos been a big person all of his life and people have beaten me down,kicked me and harassed me at home. This still happens but there isn't anything that can be done about it. It's easy to assume that I have low self-esteem and you are right but I've been making it alright without it. not to mention I have depression issues because society "shuts off" obese people because of our size. So we don't get accepted. This is sad because we are still people with thoughts and feelings. Just slightly bigger.

    I've learned to not give 2 shakes of a cats tail about what people think about me, this does take some time because WE ALL want to be accepted but society is a honestly a snake pit full of vipers and the best way to combat it is to do what you like to do. The only time I leave this house is if I am going to work or need something for my home or myself. I have a couple acquainted friends here and there but friends don't want to do anything fun, no way to make memories.

    So with this life style, I am happy. No one to bother me or to be critical. This is unhealthy by society standards but truth of the matter is as long as the bills are paid, I have food to feed myself,have a decent job and the people I do love in my life society can F*** off and die, who needs them if you have what you already need to enjoy life. Not everyone is the same, if you are happy with yourself that's all you need!

    This is stupidgamer1
    Signing off

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    Ok, I find this funny every time somebody says they are depressed because of what someone else said. I've been fat all my life, I don't care what people think. I don't know what you are talking about with people kicking you around and all that crap stop being too emotional. Yeah getting picked on, OMG what do I do. Um notice that everybody picks on everybody, it's really not that big of a deal, just because you are getting picked on doesn't mean that it's serious it's for fun. You pick back it's called playing around. Don't let other people bother you, it's just stupid. And to complain about it is worse, start talking to more people change your friends, play a sport, do something that doesn't make you think about what other people think. Just because your fat doesn't mean that it's the end of the world geeze have fun, go to the hottest girl in school and be like whats up, not the girl that everybody goes after, pick the one that nobody tries to get because she's too hot, see what happens, who knows, it happens.

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    Junior Member firedrake's Avatar
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    Talking Believe in your self

    Have total trust in your self and never take the easy way.You only hurt yourself and other's that way..Everyone has flaw's and that make's a person special in their own way.Learn mental strength and then you will be a strong person..

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    You know, that's great, Replase, that you think that way. However, not everyone is actually capable of thinking like that. For example, myself. I have a disorder that makes me obsess about my looks. I take tiny little flaws and I blow them WAY out of proportion and I think that everyone sees me as I see me.

    How about you show a little compassion for how others feel instead of hijacking a thread that's supposed to help people so you can do some trolling?

    Grow up, realise that the world doesn't revolve around you, that your way of life is not how everyone lives.

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    I'm not trolling just telling you how it is the world doesn't revolve around me, but you know what it should, and thats the attitude you should have. Everybody wants to have an excuse for everything and not take responsibility for themselves, that's just the society that we live in today everybody needs a hand out and wants someone to feel sorry for themselves, you have to make due with what you got, realize that it's not as bad as you think and be like I'm the [DELETED] what every body else thinks, nobody can make or break you, it's all in your head, you have to get the right mindset, you can't just blame it on a condition, you have to look at your self and say I'm the bomb [DELETED] tick tick.
    Last edited by s0ur; 02-11-2010 at 09:39 PM. Reason: profanity

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