At first, i think the card you have is R4i SDHC 3DS not the R4i SDHC , it is this one: R4i SDHC 3DS Flashcart For your DS DSi 3DS -dsflashcart.com correct?
And yeah, you made a mistake about the update. you should have updated your R4i sdhc 3ds card first, then updated your 3DS console second. So now you need to find a DSL console to update your R4i sdhc 3ds. here is a video guide for you.
And also a step by step guide
Dsflashcart News - How to update your R4i sdhc 3DS flashcard firmware with V1.56b-dsflashcart.com